One of my nephews used to have a Thomas the tank engine toy locomotion when he was a kid. I'm sure that's why he's so prejudiced, now that he's eleven-ish.
The Guardian is kind enough to publish an article where the author accuses Thomas the tank engine of being a) racist, b) misogynist c) a homophobe and d) "stupidly smug" (the last one is literal). Allow me to boil it down a little, so you don't have to read through this mess:
a) The good trains on the show blow white smoke, while the evil trains blow black smoke. What do we make of that? Thomas the tank engine is racist.
b) There is only one female train on the show, and she is said to "know her stuff". That's misogynist.
c) In one episode, a pink train is bullied. Homophobic.
d) That's a direct quote.
The world is in desperate need of un-apologetic manliness such as ulbator promotes. Don't be a pussy - wear ulbator.
Our's is a young business. But so far, we have received very positive feedback on our products. One customer reports that our products "generate a lot of attention" from the opposite sex. Another customer bought a second "for the elite" t-shirt, because his ol' lady liked so much how it looked on him. It is truly heartwarming for us to know that our products are increasing love through physical attraction in a society where both are on the decline.
The internet nowadays is full of "life coaches", "personal improvement" guru's, teachers of "self development". Nothing wrong with that, but the results their techniques render range anywhere from "null" to "ok", within a time frame that ranges from "long term" to "years ahead". Nothing wrong with that either, some actions and interventions need time to mature and bear fruit. But every now and then, you just need something that produces immediate results. And that is where ulbator comes in. Now, we won't shed those last couple of pounds off of your tummy. We can't grow your bicep for you. But we can make you look a little bit manlier in an instant. As it has been said before: improve fecundity - wear ulbator.
We don't know whether to laugh or cry here at ulbator. Turns out that the Marvel comics hero Thor, based on the ancient Scandinavian Mythological character Tor, will undergo a sex change in the near future. Important progressive shit, let me tell you. It should come as no surprise that this sex change is welcomed with open arms by Swedish mainstream media, which can't help but propose five other pop-culture sex changes that we ARE DYING to see (the article is in Swedish, but don't worry it is just as in-comprehensible for a native speaker).
Myself? I'm considering buying a pink leather chord for my Tor's hammer necklace in honor of progressiveness and sex change. The regular reader will know that the ulbator head honcho has previously shown incredible insight in gender issues and makes a point and a conscious effort out of bringing the public discourse on the matter forward. We were hoping for yet another grain of wisdom from our great leader. He couldn't be reached for a comment though. He was too busy working on his 500 lbs dead lift, with the other girls.
Congratulations to Germany on the World Cup win. I watched the game, and the win was well earned. It is worth mentioning that the Mexican national selection performed well in the World Cup and were on the verge of eliminating bronze medalist Holland in the final 16's round. Go Sweden in 2018! Here's an idea for a Swedish national football team that has run out of such: I would estimate that having ulbator provide the uniforms would give us a big enough of an edge to at least reach the quarter finals in 2018. As an added bonus, the national selection would appear presentable which would be refreshing in this day and age. All players would be required to keep their shirts tucked in for the start of the game. Discipline and respect through appearance, I predict they're on the way back in professional sports.
This may not be conventional publicity material, but we have stocked out on a couple of our SKU's. I know, I know, stocking out is not a good thing and no sane business would advertise it, but for a humble operation like ours (humble in age and maturity, not in spirit) it is kind of cool. Now don't worry, the stock out won't last for long. As soon as we noticed, we got right back in the bandwagon, shifting priorities in production. For you, our beloved customer. Don't hold back your orders though, only a couple of color / size variants are affected, and a stocked out item can't be ordered. Thank you for letting us assist you on your manly quests and endeavors!
Not for Pussies!