This past Saturday, our great leader - the head honcho - participated in, and won his first MMA tournament. Fighting in the light heavy weight division he choked out his opponent after about 30 seconds of combat, in what turned out to be the shortest bout of the day.
There was some doubt regarding the honcho's prior fighting experience. Having trained once a week for only a couple of months at his current gym, he was politely advised to participate as an independent competitor. As you'd expect, a tiny inconvenience of this nature would not discourage a head honcho, who participated under the mighty ulbator flag. In fact, as the head honcho was spotted at the event by his trainer, the latter's first comment was: "Are you nuts?".
That was obviously not the case. Only three strikes were exchanged before our great leader's opponent charged at him with the intent of running him to the ground. Instead, the opponent's charge was impeded by the honcho's imposing figure, after which his head was caught by the honcho in a guillotine choke. A brave opponent, he did not tap out until the head honcho lifted him from the floor by the head.
In addition to winning the event, the Head Honcho confirmed the appropriateness of ulbator's "short for the kind of guy who likes to do sports but will also have a beer and a couple of cigarettes every now and then" for contact sports. Even though they're deliberately short, you can fit a groin protector in them. And you'll look a lot classier than your average MMA brute.
Not for Pussies!