We are currently being overwhelmed by reports on how men's testosterone levels are decreasing, how females are adopting more male physical and social traits and vice versa, how more and more children are diagnosed with social disorders, how consumption of anti depressants have skyrocketed among western women, divorce rates (I am too lazy to link to any relevant reports - go look it up yourself), etc. etc. When ulbator express our mission to revive the man in the males among us, even though we do it with a comical undertone, the message could not be any more sincere, nor any more serious. We have taken it upon us to lead the way in the struggle against the cancers of civilization, paving the way towards harmony with nature and prevalence of truth. Ambitious? You bet.
I repeat what was stated only a few hours back: "ulbator does not bend over for any one". Neither should you.
This last Sunday, I watched the hyped movie "12 years a slave". It very much helped me in reinforcing my already quite firm conviction, that all American southerners are swine and that Brad Pitt is actually the embodiment of humaneness, so much so that he could actually pass for a Canadian. Although if you caught any of these recent blockbusters; "Django Unchained", "Lincoln" and "the Butler" you probably already knew that (the southerner part, not the note on Brad Pitt). I find it amusing how Hollywood must really perceive us, it's audience, as an incredibly dumb bunch of people. So dumb that we need the world to be displayed to us completely in black and white (in this case it was - both metaphorically and directly speaking) and utterly lacking of nuance. I mean, slave owners (i.e conservatives), are not only evil, they are also sexual weirdos and drunks because, well, one goes with the other I suppose.
Not necessarily a bad movie from an entertainment standpoint. I sat through it. But way more interesting than the movie itself is the current political farce that it represents. I am a native swede, Sweden being pretty much the world's conscience and the stronghold of the "humane" ideal. It took me moving half way across the globe, but I have achieved to distance myself from the Swedish political norm to a point where I can now observe the social debate with amusement. That goes for the debate over the sexes, ethnicity and sexual preferences. No ground is holy for ulbator, we scoff at absurdity no matter it's realm.
But how does this kind of rambling tie in to our brand, then? I have already stated that ulbator is first and foremost about macho. When you wear our mark, you are displaying your adherence to that ideal. Contemporary social norms dictate that we fall in line, that we don't deviate, that we behave, don't question. But let it be heard that ulbator does not bend over for any one.
With much love!
Since the last time around, we have been working on more t-shirt prototypes, primarily evaluating the material and performing some minor technical construction tweaks. We ended up choosing a 100% cotton fabric over the rayon. The foremost reason for that was the cotton being cooler when used as an undershirt. The rayon would become uncomfortably hot when worn under a dress shirt, at least here in Mexico.
We'll start production of the new t-shirt this weekend and you'll see them popping up in our web store early next week. I'm quite happy with how this t-shirt turned out, so happy in fact that I posed for a selfie (that word is still not recognized by my text editor's spell check, by the way) that you may admire below. I'm wearing these t-shirts all the time now as the weather is getting warmer at my latitudes. The goal was to create the best t-shirt in the world and I am quite confident that we pulled it off. Wouldn't have expected anything less.
Now that the development work is out of the way, and production is up and running we can move on to the next move of our master plan. You will see the first fruits of that labor in the coming weeks.
Here are a couple of new photos, this time around clad in grey.
No, I am not taking a dump on this photo. I wanted a picture of our shorts worn together with the t-shirt, but with no wifey available at the time to take the photo, I had to figure out a way to do it myself. I thought about another "selfie", tried it, but found out that I would have needed my arm to be a yard or so longer in order for it to work. So, here we are, stuck with a picture of me, squatting as if I was to, well you know. Never was much of a poser. Or photographer for that matter.
There was a time when being commanded by an incompetent boss to execute the wrong action and implement the wrong solution would make me nervous. Still have a boss outside of ulbator (that's temporary) and still get commanded. The difference between now and then is that I have a) learned to execute anyway on what I know is right and b) seized to be concerned about pleasing said boss. This solution may not garner me any additional points among my "superiors" in the organization, but as someone who has way too much integrity left, it becomes a vital part in preserving one's self respect.
So the next time some corporate schmuck wants to command you and throws management platitudes your way just nod calmly, pretend to agree for a minute and then let the relief of total outcome independence grasp you. Save your worrying for the projects in your life that are actually important to you. You are unlikely to find those within a corporate setting.
Ulbator is about grabbing the bull by the horns down the shaky road of independence. We are about showing our longest finger to the establishment, and from up really close. We are not a mere bundle of products, we are not merely a brand. We are a movement, an ideal. We are a takeover, a hostile takeover. Now go grow a pair and start getting out of line.
The pattern for our t-shirt is finished, and it now has a perfect fit. I wore the most recent prototype in public this last weekend and the looks I get from the womenfolk because of this t-shirt confirms that the fit is right. I have also worn it at the gym this week and I'll be damned if, after wearing it for a couple of weeks, it doesn't add a few lbs to your deadlift max.
So why is this t-shirt any different from the rest? Well, design wise there is actually quite a difference. We have been glancing quite a bit at t-shirts of the past, and the sleeves are what you would expect someone to wear beneath a 50's Marlon Brando style jacket, i.e. they are shorter that those of contemporary shirts that tend to end somewhere way to close to the elbow. The neck is a bit wider because, hell, if you've made the effort to put on your Thor's hammer necklace, you'll want it to show, right? This feature will also add to the attention you get from the womenfolk, especially if you wear it when you are doing deadlifts. As a last design-point, this t-shirt does not have that vulgar, skin-tight fit of most gym tees. The sleeves will leave a little bit of room for your shoulders (as long as you're not flexing) and if your proportions are right, it will be a little bit tighter over the chest than over your belly.
As far as the construction goes, at Ulbator we will perform any extra step, operation or process that adds to the quality and dependability of the garment and our t-shirt is no exception to this rule. For instance, just as with the "short for the kind of guy who likes to do sports but will also have a beer and a couple of cigarrettes every now and then", any seam that will be under stress is reinforced. That way, you can count on our garments not to tear apart when you're squatting at the gym or grappling at the dojo.
Right now we're evaluating the fabric of the t-shirt. The first one we have tried is rayon fiber, and it has worked very well so far. We still want to field test one or two other materials before making the final call. Perfection is institutionalized at ulbator.
To sum things up; no extra pocket for your iPhone, no integrated GPS, no laboratory developed NASA astronaut material. Just plain ol' exquisite design, proven materials and reliable construction. I'm planning to call it "for the elite" t-shirt. How do you like the sound of that?
By the way, I had a coffee with a friend the other day, and he was whining about the quality of the photos on the web page, something that I have adressed briefly in the past. So in the name of being difficult and stubborn and not paying attention to anyone's well intended advice, here are a couple of grainy, un-edited (but cropped) photos of our "for the elite" t-shirt, shot with the same old compact camera as always.
These last couple of days were very busy and highly productive at ulbator. We hired a new seamstress (turned out brilliant), we completed the final color scheme for our "short for the kind of guy who likes to do sports but who will also have a beer and a couple of cigarettes every now and then" short (Black / Gold) and we completed a first prototype for our second garment.
The second piece of ulbator clothing is a t-shirt, the only t-shirt on the market with a perfect cut and a perfect fit. Much like our "short for the kind of guy who likes to do sports, but will also have a beer and a couple of cigarettes every now and then" is a reaction against an aesthetically contaminated market, our t-shirt will provide an oasis in a vast desert of bad fitting, poorly cut t-shirts with tacky prints. Actually, I for one am appalled by the fact that with so many options on the market, I can't find a simple t-shirt with the right fit, the right neckline and the right arm length. Then again, if it wasn't for the shortcomings of the market, there wouldn't be a need for us at ulbator to design one.
Anyways, the prototype came out really good. With some minor tweaks to the fit and the design it will be good to go for production. We're keeping a good clip right now, so that will happen sometime in March. The t-shirt will be an excellent complement to the short. We want to keep our ulbator confidants well dressed - head to toe.
I'll keep you posted.
Not for Pussies!