A recent post provides thoughtful advice for men who want to become eligible for government affirmative action programs: pretend that you are gay. Wouldn't work for the head honcho though. No one would believe him.
If you live in the west, what I am about to write may be shocking to you so I want to encourage readers to take a couple of deep breaths before reading on. A recent study (written by some hateful prick, I bet) has found that men and women are different. And fundamentally so. And not in a "mere" (I'm not sure why "mere" would have to precede physical, but let's not stray aside) physical sense, but in a personality sense. The dimensions where the biggest gender discrepancies were found were: Sensitivity, Warmth and Apprehension all of which were higher among the fairer sex. Emotional Stability, Dominance, Rule-Consciousness and Vigilance were all higher among males. We don't want to point our finger or anything (I'm lying, we DO want to point our finger), but these personality traits look a whole lot like the classic characteristics of the sexes, that are forbidden to utter nowadays.
What does the head honcho have to say about personality differences between men and women? "They forgot to list silliness, fragility and unreliability as predominant female traits". And there it is, laid down before us.
Pretty much every time a Mexican male finds out that I am Swedish, he will make a comment on Swedish women, how beautiful they are and how he would love to hook up with one. True, Swedish women are beautiful but Mexican women aren't too shabby either. I guess that the attraction toward what is exotic is universal. Anyways, it turns out that the Swedish female's guy-preference has been deciphered! And lo and behold, the man she yearns for is: a sexy criminal.
It turns out that in Sweden, native motherland of the head honcho mind you, criminals have more offspring than non-criminals. They have more sexual partners. And although less likely to marry in the first place, they are more likely to re-marry, should they ever divorce.
Ulbator is all about making the world a more loving and sexier place. And after having read the report, I now know what advice to give any Mexican who seeks to hook up with a Swedish woman: "Toss that university degree out the window and go steal a car!"
For all the (Swedish) women out there: The ulbator head honcho performing some illegal urban climbing activities. Dressed from head to... ankles in ulbator.
The first ever ulbator user picture!
And as you would expect the proud bearer is poppa ulbator, i.e the head honcho's dad. You can see where we got our flexing skills from - way to go dad! This is a proud day for the head honcho, so much so that his otherwise iron expression was humbled for a bit (just a bit, no need to get carried away). And let me tell you this: that is an XL t-shirt, of which the old man manages to completely fill out the arm. What of today's weak hipster youth can make such claims? Definitely worthy of wearing ulbator. Are you?
We are mighty proud of pa'.
... takes place in Sweden. The topic of the debate is how a supposed "kulturman" (meaning a man working in culture production, link in Swedish) has benefited unduly from "social structures" within society. He is portrayed as someone who is admired for his art, powerful and, and this seems to be what really bugs the author, with "too vast moral liberty".
The head honcho yawns disinterestedly: "Poets and painters are not nearly as entertaining as jesters and dwarves, anyway".
Just read this article (through this blog), which shines some light upon women's, as perceived by many, increased interest in sex as the years pass by. This is explained as nature's way of pursuing that women capitalize on their last remainder of fertility before menopause. Which sounds totally plausible to the ulbator head honcho.
Nature works in mysterious ways and we do best in heeding her call. When we ignore her or try to legislate her away, depression, illness and even death ensues. Ulbator's official stance is that of happiness, love and passion. All of which, we believe, are achieved by adhering to what nature intended for us.
I say farewell with a sexy pic. Remember, because it has never rung truer: Improve fecundity - wear ulbator.
Honoring the topic of the post; this photo is for all the ladies out there who need some inspiration in order to capitalize on their fertility window. The ulbator head honcho, grey "for the elite" t-shirt, green / white short "for the kind of guy who likes to do sports but will also have a beer and a couple of cigarettes every now and then". Once again posing with a frog.
On Sunday the 15th we're celebrating father's day in Mexico and the US (Europeans will have to wait until November). I for one will be attending an event at my daughter's school. It is supposed to be a secret, but she wasn't able to completely keep it and I have been informed that there's singing (she already sang me the song, the cutest thing ever) and dancing involved.
I am hereby making an official acknowledgement of all deserving fathers out there on ulbator's behalf. Ulbator's official stance is very much pro-fatherhood, pro family and pro procreation. Furthermore, as you would know by now the ulbator ideal is that of greatness, of superiority. Even though us men will provide even when not asked to and progress when not praised, I raise my glass to all the fathers out there, spawning and raising our future heroes!
The most sincere of congratulations on this father's day!
My photographer beat me to it. The below photograph is yet another one from this last Sunday's shoot. A couple of days back, he posted it on his FB page, and it seems as if it the photo that has received the most positive feedback (most likes) of the photos on his page so far, and I've gone back to early 2014. Why? It's gotta be the t-shirt....
Men and women respond differently to situations perceived as risky, it seems. Do you want the head honcho's take on the statement? Of course you do, so here's the official ulbator stance: risk is just another chance to show off your balls.
I just stumbled across this blog entry, linking to an official announcement of Vladimir Putin (who you may argue embodies the ulbator ideal quite well) introducing the Order of Parental Glory. It seems as if the purpose is to increase the fecundity among Russians, which has been notoriously low ever since the fall of the USSR. Whenever the Russian president is mentioned in a conversation with a fellow swede (or other westerner for that matter), it is always with scorn and and a spiteful tone, we complain about his bare chested horseback riding, judo wrestling and what not. Ulbator on the contrary would like to encourage men everywhere to adapt some of Mr. Putins machoness, which is unprecedented in contemporary politics. I would also like to encourage the politicians of my country and of all of the west to follow the positive example that Mr. Putin is setting and the sound values that he promotes by recognizing "services to strengthening the institution of the family" among Russians.
Ulbator being the socially responsible brand that we are, are hereby contributing in our own way to improve the falling fecundity rates of western countries. By providing a sexy picture. Men of the west: improve birth rates - wear ulbator.
Not for Pussies!